Mistakes were made, but it was tasty, anyway; Buttermilk pie, demystified.

I have been mystified by this pie, since I found out about it... probably last year.  

I had no idea what the hell it was going to taste like, because people just said it was delicious.  

That's not helpful, y'all! 

So, I had to make it.  I'll tell you what it reminds me of: a snicker-doodle, but in custard form.  Lots of the same flavours going on.  There is no cinnamon, but it does have fresh ground nutmeg, and vanilla.  And well?  I've never made snicker-doodles in my life, so maybe some day if I decide to, I'll find out what they are actually spiced with.  To be honest?  I have no idea.  But this pie tastes like them.

This weekend was a little tougher than most.  I was all over town, for a lot of it.  My house was a mess.  I was tired, but I swore I would make a pie a week, and I did.  At 10 PM.  On Saturday.

As I went to start the process, I looked over at my lovely assistant, who was having some kind of teen drama freak out, so I lightly asked her if she wanted to help, and she looked at me like she was going to murder me, so I backed away carefully.  Then I photographed, and made this thing myself.

For this pie, you will need:

One 9" pie plate  

One rubber spatula

One whisk

Measuring jug/cups

Measuring spoons

One large mixing bowl

Pastry blender

Cling film

Foil

Ingredients:

1 basic bitch pie crust recipe.  You'll need 2/3 of the finished product.  (This will keep in the freezer for months, so if you make a lot of pies, you will only need to make one more, and then... ta-da!  Bonus pie!  Whee!)  

1 cup buttermilk (RT)

4 oz butter (RT/SOFFFFFT!)

1 tbsp vanilla 

Juice from one lemon (RT) 

3 eggs (RT) 

1 1/2 C sugar

Zest of one lemon

1 tsp fresh ground nutmeg

1/2 tsp salt

3 tbsp flour

Method:

Preheat your oven to 350 F or 180 C.

Start out by creaming the softened butter and sugar together.  You want this COMPLETELY homogenized, and I mean COMPLETELY.  If you see any white spots from the sugar, keep going.  It should take abou 5 minutes, or so.  You can do this in a stand mixer, but it's harder to tell what you've got that way, so I like this method with the spatula.

Next, add your vanilla, salt, and flour.  

Next, your eggs.  I like to start off with a spatula for this, and then when you get it to a loose enough consistency, continue to blend it with a whisk.

Next, your lemon zest and nutmeg.

Finally, add your buttermilk and lemon juice.  Stir until completely blended.  It's now ready to bake!

Fill your basic bitch, and go!  To the oven!  Pow!
(Yes, mistakes were made here, too.  ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR PIE WEIGHTS, because not only can you have your crust bubble up all weird and shit, but it can also kind of collapse on you, as shown here!!!) 

Bake this for about 40-50 minutes at 350 F, or 180 C.

I checked on mine around 30 minutes in, and it was starting to darken.  The top looked done, but it was still very loose.  Too loose.  Way too loose.  Toulouse Lautrec, this pie was, which was fitting in a way, since it was kind of a loose impression of pie at all, so whatever.

So, I put some foil over the top of it, so the top would not burn.  It... well?  Mistakes were made.  Whatever.  It still tasted good.  I think next time, I may try a tent contraption so the foil doesn't fall down.  Also, if you do this, make sure your rack is in the center of the oven, and maybe take the top rack out, so there is room for your foil tent.

Serves 8-10.  Enjoy!